Let the Holiday Birthdays Begin

In addition to dealing with food and alcohol at the plethora of parties being thrown to celebrate Christmas, my family also celebrates numerous birthdays from Dec 22 - 31.  Five to be exact.  Six if you include my sister's mother in law, who we basically do.  Every year, we throw a holiday birthday party at my house for the kids (my two and my niece).  Today is party day.  Four hour countdown, actually.

So, that means there will be food.  Cupcakes, cookies, chicken fingers.  But there will also be A LOT of vegetables this year.  I have a HUGE plate of veggies to help -- offering me munching solutions, also allowing me to feel part of the party.

Sore to the Core

Basic core work

I've been doing the pilates reformer class at my gym for about 3 years now.  For most of that time, I've done the class twice a week.  Most of my Mondays and Thursdays start with pilates reformer at 5 am.  My instructor is a great gal from England.  And, she went home this year for Christmas. But, instead of canceling our classes.... she found some other instructors to take over on certain days.

Bridging

Leg circles

Yesterday morning I had a woman I've seen teaching their mat pilates classes.  In fact, I've taken one of those from her before.  And, it was fine. 

Eve's lunge

Typically, my English instructor challenges us and while their are some regular routines we do, she also changes things up so it's not always the same exercises.



But, after three years, you get to know the routines... and rarely do I feel sore from my reformer class.  On occasion, I will... but it is not often.


However, my workout yesterday with the Mat Class Instructor has left me sore to the core.  Not the kind of sore that's it hurts to walk or be active.  It's just an achy kind of sore right in my core area... where I can seriously feel the muscles have been worked.   This is exciting... it means that we did something just different enough that I worked my muscles differently.

Short spine roll-over

That makes me happy, actually... and, sure, it does make me wonder if my English instructor is keeping me on my toes enough.  But, I have felt like this before after one a class or two, but it's been a while.

 

All of the photos in this blog are images of actual exercises I do regularly.  Some I enjoy much more than others.  Some that just seem to be harder for me to do since I broke my foot (even two years later).... like "bridging" on just my left foot.  The Mat Class Instructor did most of these same ones... she just added some variations that seemed to cut right to the core.  And, I love it!


Feels great to be sore to the core!!

Out with the Old

Over the last few weeks, I have spent a lot of time in my closet.  It's not a fun thing for me.  But, it's necessary.  My personal downsizing has created a need to weed.  Out with the old!  Time to focus on where I am now and what I no longer need. 

For me, the task was daunting because I really had to try on a lot of the clothes.  My body shifts so much right now, I have no idea what fits on  regular basis.  Something can be too tight on Monday and by Friday it fits decently.  Or, pants can fit a little loose on one day and by the next week they are too big and need to be weeded.

One might think that this would be easily done on an ongoing basis... which is what I'm doing now.  But, at first, I think there was that fear that my weight could go back up.  No one who loses weight never wants to go back to being heavy.  But, those of us who have spent our lives in search for semi-decent plus size clothing know it is not easy to come by.  So, to let go of those commodities (even if I wasnt in love with any of them) which took years to accummulate is very hard to do. 

 

But, I took the stance that I would never need them again.  I just had to think that way.  Because that is how it has to be.  So, I cleaned out.  I went through everything.  I packed up bags and bags of clothes and starting keeping them together in another room.  I would add clothes to them over a few weeks of doing this and then left the bags there for a while.  I never (not one time) went back to the bags.  I never looked in them.  Never thought about what was in them and no longer in my closet.  Nothing needed to stay.  And, when I came to that feeling of acceptance, then were placed in my car and taken away.  And, I haven't thought about them since.



Determin-Ada

Last night was the finale of The Biggest Loser. 

This is a show I've never really watched before this season.  But, this season spoke to me... with my own weight loss challenge, I watched every episode.  In fact, many times I felt like I lived it with these people.  I was dropping pounds, having my own last chance workouts....  And while Ginah is no Jillian, I did have a coach with me along the way.

  

Never, over the course of the season, did my favorite contestant change.  From the beginning, I was immediately connected to Ada.  Armed with her nickname, the Terminator — for her core of steel in the gym and beyond — Ada was constantly upping the ante for the other contestants. And while her original motivation and purpose for doing this may have shifted from external factors to an internal covet, her determination always shined through.   And, she has been an inspiration to me. 

I mean, doesn't she look great?  She looks happy and healthy... and without ever knowing her... she looks like herself again. 

Ada's quest to beat the Biggest Loser's marathon record (on a recent episode) reminded me of my own competitive nature.  In many ways, I am very much like her.  Her focus was always around her own determined milestones and challenges -- which may or may not have anything to do with the other contestants.  That's how I feel about fat class.  I have my own goals beyond just losing weight.  And, the scale isn't a competition.  We're all dealing with our own challenges and inspirations.  We all want different things.  I, too, would like to run a marathon.  Most people in my fat class just want to be thin.  And, that's great too.  Or maybe they want to do something I don't.  Whatever it is... it's their thing.  And, I have mine.  Just like Ada had hers.

And I'm back!!!

I just walked in the door.  It's Tuesday, December 14 at 7:30 pm.  I've been gone all day, training then a rehearsal while trying to juggle kids.  Finally home and what do I find?  My laptop has been returned.  Completely fixed and ready for me to blog again.

The piecemeal additions I've made the last few weeks have been pathetic, I know.  It's been so difficult to get updates in.  But, I do have a notebook full of updates.  So, they will be coming.  In fact, I have documented every fat class I've not blogged about so far.  And, while this might not sound exciting to you, it does document this experience for me.  Therefore, making them all relevant. 

So, watch out.  I'm back, baby... I'm back!!

Community Shame

So. . .

One of the nonprofits I work with just published their Community Report and it comes out next week.  Last year I was on the cover in a decent photo.  This year, I am included on the inside -- a photo of several of us from the organization with the Governor. 

When I opened my copy yesterday I was so ashamed.  Embarrassed.  Humiliated.  Horrified. 

I look terrible.  Huge.  Swollen. 

I was mortified.  I just wanted to rip that page out of EVERY publication printed. I didn't want anyone to see me like that.  It's a reminder to everyone of how fat I was.  And, that really embarrasses me. 

The thing is... I don't feel like that is me.  I was watching the Biggest Loser last night.  The contestants ran a marathon.  They showed images of them before the program leaving a personal mesasge to their soon to be thin self.  They all looked so different!  And, their messages were all about being glad they found themselves again and not going back to being fat.  I was right there with them.  The image in that publication is a reminder to never go back... it's just unfortuante that the entire community gets to see it.

Laptop STILL Broken

The laptop is still out of commission.  It's getting fixed now.  So, updates are coming.  They are being written... just having a hard time posting.