A tall glass of Thanks

Last week was the big T day... yep, Turkey.  Fried, smoked, baked, however you like it.  My family likes it fried and fried 6 of them on Thanksgiving Day.

Holiday festivities and travel kept me from updating.... 

Despite all the plans and travel, I did survive it all.  It wasn't too bad, either.  I packed my own food, brought pre-made shakes, muffins, veggies, soups, etc... the only thing I did out of the box was enjoy a long awaited Westerhall and diet coke.  I haven't had Westerhall rum since July.  And, I knew it would be pouring heavily at my Uncle's house in Lafayette.  It was.  And, yes... I did partake.  Look, I've lost over 40 pounds.  A long awaited glass of Westerhall wasn't going to bring it all back.  I also knew it wasn't going to mentally throw me off my game. 

It was a celebration.  A moment of thanks, to myself... a long awaited thank you for investing in myself this year and losing the weight.  Honestly, this Thanksgiving was a real day of thanks for me.  The diet has not only brought a new appreciation for fruits and vegetables (of which I am very thankful) but a lot of perspective.  And, I enjoyed that new perspective over Westerhall -- much less than previous years.... but still delicious nonetheless.

Hurting for a Friend

Today is the funeral for a very good friend's father.  I mentioned his car accident in an earlier blog.  Steve was in the ICU for 2 weeks.  That's quite a long time in the ICU and really hard for a family.

The incident brought back so many memories of going through a similar experience 17 years ago when my sister died.  It was around the holidays, like Steve.  It all began with a car accident also.  She was only in the ICU for a few days, but I saw similarities around the internal injuries.  I remember the four times the family could visit and how the days revolved around the ICU visitation schedule.  I remember not being able to focus on anything else no matter how hard I tried.  I remember shaking nonstop for days and constantly feeling cold... all due to the feeling that this might be the end of her life and how unbelievable and scary that felt.  She was 23 and Steve was 60.  They both were fun people, knew how to enjoy themselves, knew how to have fun, loved by many.  And, both taken before we were ready to say goodbye.

Steve's son is a good friend of mine.  Sometime the word "friend" just isn't a good enough word to describe some people.  You know those friends who are more like family?   I mean, he and his wife are the two people who came with us when my husband and I ran away to get married in St. Lucia nearly 10 years ago.  And, over the years we have grown closer and closer to them and their families.  Our families regularly do things together:  New Years Eve.  Halloween.  St. Patrick's Day.  Ah, how I will miss seeing Steve at the St. Patrick's Day parade... sitting in "his" chair and enjoying the show, maybe smoking a cigar.  Harrassing us for being in his way.

Also each year, our families go cut down a Christmas Tree together.  We always go the Saturday after Thanksgiving....which would be this coming Saturday.  This is one of our favorite things to do each year.  We've done this for a decade, before we had kids and their oldest were young.  Now, their oldest is 16.

We saw him last night at the visitation, the oldest son, and I realized how mature he's become and how we've watched him grow up.  Their three boys were holding their own at the service.  The two oldest with friends and interacting with all the family friends who felt compelled to deliver their condolensces.  The youngest one, who is 9, was exploring the place - reminding me of my grandfather's funeral when I was in my teens.  I have strong memories of my cousins and me exploring the funeral home.  Tears, then laughter all throughout the day.  Unable to really understand what was going on.

Today I hurt for my friend and his family.  His wife who mourns a man that, as she recently said, was more a father than an in-law.  His kids who grieve for a generous and witty grandfather.  And, a son who aches for his father.... and might not be entirely ready to say goodbye.

Shaken Or Stirred?

Last Thursday night I played bartender at a fundraiser for United Way.  Serving my signature drink, a blue eyed blonde, I was competing for tips to benefit UW.  My drink consisted of lemonade, vodka and blueberries.  I did sample it a couple of times and it was delicious!  I was definitely out of the box on that.  But I made up for it in my physical activity -- because I made sure I burned over 6000 calories this past week. 

The experience was great.  What a fun night!!  I had so many friends come to cheer me on.  And lots of people telling me how great I look.  People who haven't seen me in months. 

I picked up a little blue dress in a 10 minute window between meetings on Thursday.  I wanted something blue to wear and couldn't find a thing.  Let's face it... my closet is an absolute mess.  A disaster, really.  I'm all over the place in sizes.  I keep weeding where I can.  But, it's torture to get dressed in the morning.

So I wanted something blue to wear to match my signature drink.  I got so lucky.  A lunch meeting got out slightly early and I had a 2 pm meeting at the Capitol to present to a Senate Committee.  I literally ran into a store with 10 minutes (at most) to spare.  I looked ONLY for the color blue.  Honestly, I would have never even tried the dress on if I was looking so specifically for the color.  It was a size smaller than I thought I could wear, and it was short.  But, I figured... what the hell.... let me try.  Amazing thing is... it fit and looked great with my jacket and the tux tie I was planning to wear. And, I finally had something to match the mood of the evening!

Now, I gotta get a new jacket.  Just bought that one, but it's getting way too big.  :)

Laptop Still Out of Commission

It's painful not being able to post updates.  I have a list of stuff I want to journal and the laptop being down is frustrating.  Trying to fill in the gaps from my husband's tiny laptop, when I remember to. 

Surviving the Chimes

With friends at the Chimes.

One thing I never thought I could do in this box ... 

go to The Chimes and NOT eat anything. 

A good friend was in town last week, and like me... she LOVES the Chimes.   Who can blame her?  Consistent and delicious seafood.  Yummy hush puppies!  Incredible cheese fries.  Amazing fried cheese.  Stuffed potatoes like no where else.  And, even their salads are scrumptious.  Their house dressing is to die for.  This is one of my favorite restaurants, and one of my "last meals" before jumping into the box.  So, when my friends said, "We're going to Chimes"  -- well, I was definitely worried.

I mean, how can I go and NOT eat anything?  But, I have to go. I want to see my friend.  She's more important than a day in the box.  But, I don't want to eat bad either.  What can I do?  Well, for starters... I went prepared.  I had a shake not long before. I ordered a salad with no dressing.   I even packed a soup and actually made it there. Yes, I ordered a hot cup of water.  It wasn't as hard as I thought.  And, the funniest thing of all.. . my friends just watched me make my soup with a longing look.  Seriously, they actually asked for a bite.  A bite?  Come on, folks!  We're at the Chimes.  I mean, you are eating cheese fries!!!  Nothing I'm making from the box is going to taste the least bit decent... not after eating THE CHIMES.  

The next morning when my husband asked where we went, I said the Chimes.  Even he could hardly believe I didn't eat a thing.  I was amazed at my ability to stay focused that night. Surviving the Chimes was a huge victory in my journey to make a long term lifestyle change!

Blue Eyed Blonde

Tonight I will be a celebrity bartender at fundraising event for the local United Way.  My specialty drink is called a "Blue Eyed Blonde" - which is basically lemonade and vodka with a couple of blueberries dropped in and a lemon zest.

The problem with this box thing I'm in... is that I am really not suppose to drink.  So, I'll be serving my "specialty drink" without knowing whether it's any good.  

Perhaps I'll just have to have a sip? :)

35 Miles and 40 Pounds

I've been trying to increase my physical activity since adding the fruits/veggies.  In the past two weeks, I burned over 10,000 calories.  I've had several days where I was able to get 35 miles in on the bike.  That burned a lot of calories!

This week's weigh in brought me over the 40 pound mark.  I've now lost 41.6 pounds. Forty is huge.  And, despite all challenges while in the box, it hasn't felt like it took me that long to get here. 

My photo was in Sunday's paper (see below).  I got so many comments on it.  And, several people called me actually used the word "skinny" to describe how I looked.  Great feeling!!

Walk At Work

With my 2 Step shirt, trying to live by the 2 steps:  eat right, move more

It was Veterans Day.  And, the weather was great.  A beautiful day for a walk! 

My department helped to host a Walk At Work event in honor of our Veterans.  My team had a booth and put on tee shirts and got right out there.

It's nice to work for a company that encourages activity.  About half the employees participated, too!

Anyway, I'm just feeling appreciative of being at a company that encourages healthy behaviors.  

Laptop - Down and Out

I typically blog from my home laptop.  My iPad wont let me add photos (unless someone can share how) and I don't have time to blog from my office PC.  So, I blog at home -- late hours, early mornings... whever I can fit it in.  That is, UNTIL....

Until I discovered last week that it is NO longer working.  The charger is messed up.  So, sorry for my absence.  I was actually trying to blog about our Veterans Day walk from my iPad...but haven't had time to finish it. 

I'll be back online soon.  I promise.

Traveling in the Box

Recently I was in Chicago, and earlier this week I was in Monroe.

It's a little difficult to be in the box with travel.  Sure, I pack up a mini-blender, and I make dozens of muffins to bring along.  But, the truth is... I'm out of my comfort zone.  I don't have my tools in front of me.  I can't just pop something in the microwave, or chop up veggies for a salad.  Plus, my exercise routine is thrown!

All these things make it very hard to stay on track, or in the box. 

Even though my Monroe trip was merely an overnight, it was still hard.  I had 3 dozen muffins at my disposal (which I ate most of).  I had a few premade shakes, which I also ate.  I even made an entree to eat on the way up.  Packed a banana for the ride, and one for breakfast.  I used the mini-blender and made more shakes in my room for the next morning and the trip back.  I got my PA (physical activity) in! We went to the mall that evening and walked for a couple of hours, and I spent an hour working out in the fitness center the next morning.


So, I was good.  I stayed in the box.  But, I almost think maybe I ate TOO much trying to stay in the box.  I would have never eaten all that if I was home.  And, I feel like my workout wasn't as strong as my usual ones.  It wasn't my fitness center, my machines or classes.  I don't know that I worked as hard. 

Now, that might sound dumb.  What's the difference between 4 miles on their machine versus the ones I regularly use?  I don't know.  But, it doesn't feel the same.  Perhaps it's a trust issue.  I do feel good that I went to the gym, and truly believe that it was more beneficial being there exercising than not going at all.  But, at the same time, I feel like it probably wasn't as effective as my normal exercise routine.  I'm not even sure why I think that.

In Chicago, I never went to the fitness facility.  Not once.  I walked the city instead.  Many times with a bag on my back that weighed forty pounds, too.  And even though I walked for hours my while there, I didn't feel like it was the equivalent to a strong Saturday at the gym.  And, maybe it wasn't. 

So, how do I give myself permission to be okay with these changes in schedule?  I usually come home and feel like I need to add 2 or 3 extra workouts in for being out of town.  It's like a guilt thing.  I seriously feel like I need to do another 20 miles on the bike tonight to make up for my overnight.  Why is that?

I know the schedule kept me from weighing in this week, so I don't know my stats.  And, I'm sure that's created a little anxiety.  I'm also VERY close to hitting the 40 pound mark.  Maybe I'm just wanting to stay focused?

Stress Density

I'm seeing absolutely no decrease in weight for the last 14 days... pretty much since I started incorporating fruits and vegetables.

I figured last week would be unlikely -- with my trip to Chicago and the 5 dozen muffins.  But, this week, I have been anticipating some decrease.  I even increased my physical activity. I burned 5000 calories last week! A record high, for sure. So, what's going on?

I think it's stress density.  My body is experiencing stressed and making itself even more dense.  Good hypothosis, right? 

I've felt especially stressed at work lately.  Having a hard time finishing everything I need to do with all the meetings and traveling I've had lately. 

But, more significantly, on Friday... my very dear friend learned his father had been in a car accident and was been rushed to the hospital.  I feel like I just blogged not so long ago about a good friend who lost his father. A dear friend whose family is like my own.  That's the way it is with this friend, too.  He and his wife were the witnesses at my wedding -- they flew to St. Lucia to be there for us nearly 10 years ago.  And, his family (mom, dad, sisters) has always been strongly integrated in our regular activities... why, I'm even friends with all of them on facebook!  These are good people.  Crazy people.  But, good people.

Anyway, reports of "Dad" (as we've all referred to him so often before) sent friends from around the map into anxious concern and the airwaves filled with regular check ins between us.  Fear. Anxiety. Stress. Sadness.  I spent the weekend glued to my phone for updates and appreciated having Sunday afternoon with the family in the ICU. 

While "Dad" recovers and his progress continues to show great signs of improvement, I know my friends have a long road ahead. 

For now, I'm packing my bags to head to Monroe for a work meeting.  Staying overnight.  Got with me: three dozen muffins, a mini blender, and a little less stress.  Let's hope I come back less dense.

Hello Harley!

I'm going to be in Monroe next week and will miss Fat Class. So, I went ahead and made it up this week (or they will hound me to do it nonstop).

I sat in a session with Harley, the other instructor. It's the class Lola attends and she was right there with me. First, let me say that Harley was actually not as bad as I was expecting. Someone mentioned they made the cheesecake. I was waiting for her to freak out. She really didn't. Course, I might have caught her on a good day? But, I thought she was going to be much more adamant about that kind of things.

What I wasn't expecting was how loud she was. That girl should be on stage! Talk about projection!! Wow. She actually hurt my ears. And, she likes to say OK and Alright A LOT. I counted in one 10 minute interval. She said OK 29 times, did 18 alrights, AND gave out 6 outstandings.

It's interesting to see the different dynamics of each class. One thing I immediately noticed was the PA (physical activity) of their class was much lower than our class by that week. In fact, my PA was low last week... only about 2800 and I was, surprisingly, the highest in the class. By week 10, we had so many people at 3000 or 4000. They still had so many under the 2000 PA requirement. We had little to none below it at that point. I'm not suggesting we were better by any means... but, I think the PA part might have taken more to the people in my class. I'm certain our group wasn't any more athletic in nature. And, I'm sure anyone would agree if they had seen both groups. It was just interesting to see that.

It was harder to sit through this class than the intro one the night before. Perhaps that is because I had JUST been in a fat class? Or, maybe it didn't feel as relevant or seemed redundant? I'm not sure. One thing I did enjoy, though... was getting to hear the story, again, of the guy who lost 200+ pounds through the program. I actually caught a couple of things I didn't remember from when he shared his story with my class. it's pretty inspiring. And, I appreciated the inspiration during this time of renewal with the program.

Round Two - Fat Class Recap 1

Well, the second round of fat class was surprisingly informative. I had been dreading sitting through the intro class again, since I'm 13 weeks in. I mean, what can they really tell me that I don't already know. A lot, apparently. It was incredibly informative to sit through the introductory material again. A great refresher. Just picked up on some things I had forgotten or perhaps missed on the first go round.

As for my fat class mates? Well, there were three repeat offenders (me, Cathy - the one with influx, and the guy who's wife is also doing the diet in another class -- think he's lost 40 pounds already). There were only 7 newbies with us. So, a total of 10 in the class Monday night. I was there with a colleage, Liza. She's new to the diet and has been watching my progress (along with others from my office). We've all done fairly well and I think she's anxious about not doing as well as the rest of us. I just try to remind her that every body responds differently, and this isn't a competition. Liza took LOTS of notes. Pages and pages, actually. That's good. I didn't and I now see there was a lot I didn't remember.

Ginah was the teacher again and I told her the next day that it was really very good for me to sit through it again, especially considering I'm seeing this all through a new lense. I wasn't doing the fruits and vegetables last time. So, I didn't really listen to everything they said about that... or it didn't register. It was relevant, or important.

Several members of the class looked like they only needed to drop a few pounds, and it made me wonder what they were doing on this program. Then there were others that definitely needed to lose more. There was a guy who stood for most of the class. I'll probably just call him the Stander. At one point he asked the Married Repeater about a shake he made using a pudding. The Stander was really intrigued by the things you could add. "So, you just put a whole box of that pudding in the shake when you do it?" he asked innocently. I thought Ginah might have a heart attack. "Not a whole box... just a tablespoon," she strongly stated.

I missed Paulie. While she and I were not really friends before the diet, we have certainly been there for each other through the last 13 weeks and she is definitely a good friend now. It was weird not having her as part of my experience.

Starting Over

I weighed my options and finally decided what I should do about moving forward with the diet. 

It was a much harder decision than I thought it would be.  Originally, I wanted to just move to the Wednesday Phase II class. It would be cheaper, less time in class, more flexible, and I'd get to stay with Paulie.  It was selfish, mostly.  But, if I'm really committed to losing weight and keeping it off... then it's not about those things. I had to figure out what was best for me.

Once I started incorporating the fruits and vegetables into the diet, I realized it was much more complicated than I expected.  And since I never listened to anything they said about fruits and veggies in my first series of fat classes, I figure I probably need to start over again.  So, I decided to retake the core class.  Yes, it will be excruciatingly painful to sit through some of those same lectures again.  But, I'll be listening with a different perspective.  It will be good for me to start over.  I think it will prolong my time in the box and reinforce good behaviors. 

I'll miss Paulie.  But, I feel good about my decision.