Scale Results

Despite my inability to keep up with my food log and stay focused on the diet, I'm actually doing pretty good on the scale.  I'm either maintaining my loss or still lossing.  It's amazing, really.  I've felt so out of control the last few weeks with my crazy schedule around the new initiative.  I'm surprised to see these results on the scale.  Let's hope it stays that way!

Keeping it Together

My schedule has been crazy since the announcement and I'm having a terrible time keeping up with my food/activity log. 

I'm doing tv/radio interviews, dealing with calls from everyone about the program, etc.  I'm finding it hard to stay focused on being in the box.  I'm a little worried about this coming fat class.  The last thing I need is to start getting fat again while I'm working to get the state of Louisiana healthier!

I've got to keep it together!

Making the Announcement

 

Just a year ago, I was different. Much heavier. Less healthy. Just different.

A year ago I wouldn't be able to make the announcement.  I would have felt like a hypocrite.  I would have thought it was not in the best interest of company for me to be the one.  I'm not even sure I would have been able to really conceptualize this project a year ago.  

I feel like the diet, fat class, my job, the box... all these things are so integrated because so much of what I do, in my job, is focused around creating healthier communities.  That's why I was struggling so much a year ago with who I was and what I do.  I wasn't matched up.  I didn't look the part.  I wasn't the part. 

But, today I was.  I was able to talk about this initiative and obesity and not feel like a hypocrite.  Not be concerned that our brand reputation was at stake.  And, knowing that was acknowledging a huge shift for me mentally.  Today was a good day.

The Show Must Go On

Today is the tenth anniversary of September 11.  A day of loss for so many. 

This weekend brings a new loss.  On Friday night a 16 year boy died tragically in a car accident on his way to the theatre.  It was opening night for a show he was thrilled to be a part of.  His facebook post just an hour before illustrated his excitement around opening night and the show.  He was struck by a vehicle going 90 miles an hour.  The cast was devastated.  And, I was reminded of a time, ten years ago, when I was part of a cast who cried together. 

We were doing Pinocchio Commedia on 9/11/01.  And, we came together and cried and wondered what was happening in the world.  Could we continue a show?  I mean, doing comedy (much less commedia) after 9/11 seemed insane.  But, we did. 

I can only imagine what the cast of this show is experiencing... to lose someone so unexpectedly... someone so full of life... so young.  They cancelled the performance opening night, but pulled together and had an emotional run last night. 

As I said to their director yesterday, theatre people have the priviledge of this motto:  The show must go on.  It means, we are resilent.  We are flexible.  And, we push forward no matter what.  The show must go on.

That's how the country responded after 9/11.  That's how we were as a cast for Pinocchio.  That's how this group is now dealing with a very tragic loss.  Life doesn't stop for the rest of us.  The show must go on, no matter how hard it is to continue.

A Meeting of the Money Minds

I held a meeting with Foundations earlier this week across the state informing them of the initiative we were about to a nnounce.  Because our program requires matching funds, these Foundations really need to be supportive.  We're going to need their resources!

It was an incredible meeting.  Probably one of the most exciting meetings I've had in my career.  It's not that anything really significant happened either.  It's just that they were all so supportive and excited by our program.  They all wanted to support it.  They even talked about getting some of their donors to support the match. 

I left feeling so energized because I realized that we are about to put $20 million dollars into the state to change communities... to make them healthier, to build community gardens, parks, hiking trails, etc. 

Their support and excitement for the project means we are REALLY about to change the state.  And, what a great moment to soak up in my life... to be the originator of that concept. 

Losing Track of My Tracking

I've been so busy lately I have not been keeping up with my journaling.  In fact, I even keep misplacing my summary sheet.  I don't know why I keep misplacing it because I always put it in my booklet. 

I am worried that my increased business is going to have a negative impact on my eating habits.  I have to keep focused.  The last thing I want is to gain weight at the same time I'm doing statewide media about how we our commitment to improving the health of the state.  I finally feel comfortable enough, in terms of my size, that I will do tv interviews again on our obesity efforts (without feeling like a total hypocrite).  I don't want to change that now!

Transforming Myself, Transforming My State

So, in one of my last blog entries I wrote about my own personal transformation. 

What's exciting is... in the time I have been working to transform myself, I have also been working hard on a project professionally that will transform the state of Louisiana -- in terms of our health, fitness/activity levels, nutrition of citizens, etc.  It's a project that, hopefully, will transform communities... create infrastructure for healthy living.  Change the health of our state. 

The board voted tonight to announce the program publicly next Wednesday, which means my life is about to get busy.  Really busy. 

Will I be able to maintain my own transformation while I transform the state? 

Nonstop Eating

This weekend was filled with tropical storm weather.  Lots of rain.  For me, that means a lot of enjoyable inside time to relax. 

I don't know what it was... the weather, the indoors, etc... But, I could not stop eating!  Seriously, I felt hungry or had the munchies all weekend.  I just kept eating.  I wasn't really eating bad stuff.  But, I was eating much more than normal.

The only thing going for me is that I'm skipping class this week.  Monday is Labor Day so it's cancelled and I can't make any of the other classes due to work stuff.  So, at least I'll have a week to help get any extra weight from it off.

It's ALL Good

Had my appointment with the dermatologist regarding my spot on the back.  He checked it and the rest of my flesh (which he noted several times had LOTS of freckles and moles).  Then, he sent me off with an "All Good" thumbs up.  He did suggest, however, that I take an inventory of my many moles and check them regularly.  That should be fun.  I can't remember what I did yesterday... I have no idea how I'll remember all my many spots.  At least, I'm good for now and check this off my to do list.

Transformation

I spent a year transforming myself.  Physically, at least.  It's been an incredible experience.  Emotional.  Exhausting.  Excruciatingly painful.  Energizing.  Exciting.  Expensive!

Most days I don't feel as though I've had this major transformation.... especially lately because I've been around the same size for many months and I'm use to this new size.  Then I will see a photo of me (cringe) or run into someone I haven't seen in months (cringe cringe) and it's a reminder.  I don't like that reminder.  Because I feel like what you see now is who I was then... but I don't like that packaging. 

I have a couple of friends who I've gotten to be close with recently.  People who might have known me before the transformation (somewhat).  Knew who I was.  Maybe even knew I was heavy.  I don't know.  We never discuss it.  But, I've come to realize I like that they are really only friends with the new me.  I feel like there are a couple of people who don't even know or remember that other Christy.  The one I'm embarrassed by.  The one that makes me cringe.  The one with the ugly packaging. 

I was talking to one of them recently about writing.  What I write: plays, short stories, blogs, etc.  Blogs?  Well, then he wanted the blog address.  Oh Lord of the Rings... I can't have that.  This blog has captured all of the transformation.  And, if you didn't know that Christy... I certainly don't want you to meet her now. 

I had lunch with another friend this week who knew me before.  And, she wanted to have the local magazine do a story on my transformation.  I was horrified.  Absolutely not.  I don't want anyone to remember the old package.  A story would just remind everyone how absolutely fat I was.  I know a lot of people are excited about their transformations.  I've seen it on the Biggest Loser and other shows and in real life.  But, I guess I see it like editing down a real bad term paper.  Why would we go back and want to look at the original version?  It was a mess.  Not pretty. 

Is it bad that I want to hide the transformation?