Holiday Challenges

This holiday season has brought many challenges, in terms of staying in the box. For the past 4 weeks, there have been so many parties and birthdays and celebrations.  This week alone I've have something to be at almost every night.  And, with each of those events comes food I should not consume and drinks I should not swallow. 

I'm amazed I've lost a pound at all, much less 8!  And honestly... I do better understand now how so many people gain weight at this time. There have been claims that the average weight gain during the holidays is approximately 5 pounds, but a NY Times article states otherwise. According to them, most studies show that the average person gains 1-2 pounds in weight during the period between Thanksgiving to New Year's Day.  But, they also report that those who are already overweight (which is the majority of the country now), gain more and typically do not lose it.   Regardless, all this excess in a short period of time is not healthy. 

While I've really enjoyed these past few weeks of celebrations, I will welcome moving past them. 

Love the bug!

I'm loving the bodybugg.  It's pretty cool to see how many more calories I'm burning than consuming.  Plus, it gives me a physical activity log.... how many total minutes of "physical activity" I get in each day.  It also tells me how many steps I've walked.  (I'm averaging about 12,000 a day.)

It's just a pretty cool little system that reminds me to move around more... because I know it's tracking my every move!

BodyBugged!

Brandon got me a bodybugg for my birthday... it was exactly what I wanted.  Bodybugg's are great for tracking calories burned, and come with a program that also lets you track calories in.  Paulie has one and wears it all the time.  Many people have seen them on The Biggest Loser.  I have been wanting one, so I can better learn how my body works.  About 11 am yesterday, I had it all charged up and ready for use.  I put in all my food intake and wore it from 11 am until I woke up this morning at 6 am.  See my stats below.

So, here's what's bothersome.  I did about 2 hours of bike riding yesterday afternoon.  Can you tell?  I was surprised to find that between 2 and 4 pm (when I was exercising), it didn't seem any different than me just working around the house.  If you look above, my highest rate of calorie burn during the day was 5 calories a minute.  That's not what I was expecting.  Plus, it only logged me as having 20 something minutes of physical activity throughout the entire day (see below).  So, I started googling the bodybugg system and apparently it doesn't really work its best on stationary bicycles.  In fact, they recommend that you put the bugg on your leg when cycling for a better read.  So, I'll try that today and give it another go. 

 

Anyway, this is a pretty cool little bugg!

Christymas

December 25, 1972. 
Celebrating my first birthday!

December 25, 2010.
Celebrating my 39th birthday.

Christmas Day is my birthday.  This year was my 39th.  And, it was one of my best ones.  I was delivered to my parents at the hospital in a Christmas stocking.  The stocking goes up every year as my birthday stocking. 

I definitely was out of the box for Christymas... more than I wanted to.  I did not do a good job preparing for the day (food wise) and was, therefore, not set up to make good choices.  Plus, my cousin's wife makes the most delicious cheesecakes and I had to try both of them.  :)

But, it was a great day.  Woken up at 4 am by Lucy (my 6 year old) asking if it was morning yet.  Then my almost 8 year old, Kyra, got into my bed with her noisy, new Zhu Zhu pet (which made some pretty annoying sounds at 5 am). But, the first thing both girls said to me was "Happy Birthday!"  Very sweet.  I'm usually not remembered before Santa.  So, my day started off right. 

Brandon's parents came on Christmas Eve and spent the night.  So, they were with us for Santa.   We had a really special time with them. And, I was able to make hashbrowns for breakfast that we could all eat.

We then went to Lafayette to see my family.  I brought some veggies and no calorie ranch dressing.  I ate a lot of this.  Then I ate a lot of chex mix, cheesecake, and enjoyed my Westerhall.

I knew I'd be out of the box some and spent the two days prior to Christmas on my stationary bike. I biked 60 miles over those two days in hopes that it would help compensate for any mishaps I might have.  

After all I ate, I am VERY glad I did that.... though I think another 40 miles might have been needed.  Guess I got to get moving today!

The Eve of Me

It's early morning Christmas Eve.  I've been  up a few hours, already run an errand.... now getting the house ready for my in-laws to come later today.  I'm not too worried about the diet this week, though I am sure I will be off a little.  Mostly, I'm planning to drink.  After all, tomorrow isn't just Christmas.  It's my birthday.  And, I'm celebrating!  I've had quite a year.  Lots of great things happened this year, including my weight loss.  I want to enjoy and celebrate the day.

So, to prepare for those extra calories... I did 30 miles on the stationary bike yesterday.  It took 2 hours.  But, I need the extra exercise.  I'm hoping to do the same today.  We'll see if I can fit it in.  I figure if I can get in extra exercise (like I did at Thanksgiving) then I won't see any increase in weight.  Plus, I will enjoy my drink more. :-)  And, it seemed to work at Thanksgiving.  I lost 3.8 pounds that week!  I am not trying to lose this week... just not gain.

Ok.  I'm off.  Too much to do today!  Happy Christymas, everyone!

20 Weeks and 50 Pounds Lighter

Taken April 2010

Taken December 2010

20 weeks in and 50 pounds down.  Can you see a difference?  I've felt the most difference with the loss of the last 15 or so pounds.  I'm not sure why that is.  But, I definitely feel more active.  More likely to just jump up for something.  I didn't realize how heavy I felt before.  Weight is so restrictive!

Recently, my daughter had a project that would require us to run around all over town.  I remembered then how a few months ago I would have never wanted to do that with her... how exhausting it sounded, because we'd be running all over downtown from place to place.  But this time, I volunteered to take her.  I thought it sounded like a fun thing she and I could do together.  And, it was.  It is amazing how it changes your perspective, and your life!  I always thought I was fairly active.  Love to exercise, love to travel.  Now, there is so much more I can do.

It's great to end the year with such a great accomplishment.

SUPERSIZED

This weekend I finally watched the documentary Super Size Me.  Filmmaker Morgan Spurlock decides to embark on a 30 day McDonald's binge to illustrate how eating McDonal's might affect one's health.  The concept is inspired because of an unsuccessful lawsuit accusing McDonald's of causing the obesity of two teenage females. 

Spurlock thought the lawsuit was silly, at first.  But then, he kept thinking about the way McDonalds targets kids from such a young age, the way they manufacture their food, and their lack of transparency regarding the nutritional value of their food.  After hearing a spokesperson for McDonald's claim there was no link between the girls' obesity and their food... actually stating that McDonald's food is healthy and nutritious, Spurlock decided that he should then be able to eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner for thirty days straight with no side effects. He lived the "All American" way of life of over eating and under exercising for one month.

 

The results were mind-blowing.  In thirty days, Spurlock gained 24.5 pounds, his cholesterol rose by 65 points, and his body fat increased by 7%.  To make matters worse, his liver became fat and by day 20 many of the doctors he was working with throughout the exercise began begging him to stop the experiment.

Other side effects Morgan experienced as a result of the diet were depression, exhaustion, headaches and mood swings.  

We also learn that over the course of 30 days, he consumed 30 pounds of sugar. 

The results he experienced are the exact opposite of what I'm seeing with so many of my classmates in the box.  Many of them are going from several daily medications to none.  One woman began the diet using a walker to get around, and now she walks independently.  Everyone is losing weight.  Everyone is losing body fat. And, we saw results almost as immediate as Spurlock did.  

Super Size Me will definitely make you stop and think about what you eat and what it can do to your body.

By the way....

Shortly after the film premiered at the Sundance Film Festival, McDonald’s eliminated the “super size” option from its menus, denying that Super Size Me had any influence on this action.

140 Days

Monday marked my completion of 140 days (or 20 weeks) in the box.  What does all that time mean?  How much time is it, really? 

It's 20 weeks.  If I were pregnant, I'd be halfway done.  I'd have a little kid swimming around by now, if this was a pregnancy. Many religions practice (and have recently called for) 140 days of prayer.  Lisa Ling was held captive for 140 days in North Korea earlier this year. 


Recently, a New York artist Sally Davies illustrated McDonald’s sustainability in her McDonald’s Happy Meal Project. Her idea: To buy a Happy Meal and photograph it every day until it disintegrates. Sally is now more than 140 days into her project — and both the burger and fries are nowhere near disintegration. Scary!


Whatever 140 days is to you, it does signify a substantial amount of time.  I can attest to that.  I feel like I've been in this box a long time.  But, 140 days later... I have a lot to show for it.

Top 5 in Forced Wellness

I got a phone last week from our internal Wellness folks at the office.  These are the people who run our program for employees that encourages "wellness."  And, if employees participate in all the requirements, then their premiums are much lower.  So, at the office... it's often refered to as "forced wellness" or "forced fitness". 

In addition to the quarterly weigh-ins and seminars, they also have an annual weight loss challenge.  It recognizes the employees who have lost the most weight over the course of the year.  Apparently, I'm in the top 5.  And, they called to verify if I was wanting to be included in that.I think you're suppose to have signed up at the beginning of the year and they couldn't find a form for me.  After a brief hesitation, I said, "Sure.... I usually sign up each year.  Count me in."

At first, I thought maybe I didn't want the visibility.  It's embarrassing to be highlighted for having been fat.  Then I thought... why not?  Besides, EVERYONE seems to know I've lost.  You can obviously tell.  And, just about every member of our Senior Management team has said something to me.  In fact, three of them said something yesterday. So, why not?  They're going to wonder why my name isn't on there and now I'm eligible for some "stuff"!  I think last year the top person received a $500 gift card and the other high losers also received goodies.  (I know I'm not the top person since there is someone in the company who lost 100+ pounds over the last 15 months). 

Anyway, it's good to be on top... especially if gifts come along with that. :)

A Week "in" Boston

I did a training all week, a certification really... from Boston College Center for Corporate Citizenship.  My entire team as well as internal stakeholders and several key external partners.  Boston CCC is considered one of the leading experts in assisting companies in developing their corporate citizenship programs.  I took one of their classes about 18 months ago in New Orleans and thought it would great to do a fast track certification program for my staff.  Eighteen months later, here we are.... all getting certified.

A week in training can mean a real lack of physical activity.  Lots of sitting.  It can also mean a lot of eating.  Breaks with food throughout the day.  So, more opportunity to cheat and less activity to help keep the calories burned.  One good thing about bringing Boston to me was my ability to control the food served.  My team are all aware of my diet by now, and knew I wanted a lot of fruits and veggies included at breaks.  And, that's what we had.  No afternoon brownies or cookies for anyone.  We had vegetable trays each day.  And, we had fruit kabobs.  There were fruit baskets and trays in the morning. We also had hot water for tea (which is no calories).

We received such great feedback from all the attendees on the healthy food options, as well as from the instructors - who claimed we were one of the best groups they've ever had.  (Course, they probably say that to everyone).  Anyway,  it's so much easier to stay on track when you can control your food choices.  It's just a shame that we can't do that for everything.

Let the Holiday Birthdays Begin

In addition to dealing with food and alcohol at the plethora of parties being thrown to celebrate Christmas, my family also celebrates numerous birthdays from Dec 22 - 31.  Five to be exact.  Six if you include my sister's mother in law, who we basically do.  Every year, we throw a holiday birthday party at my house for the kids (my two and my niece).  Today is party day.  Four hour countdown, actually.

So, that means there will be food.  Cupcakes, cookies, chicken fingers.  But there will also be A LOT of vegetables this year.  I have a HUGE plate of veggies to help -- offering me munching solutions, also allowing me to feel part of the party.

Sore to the Core

Basic core work

I've been doing the pilates reformer class at my gym for about 3 years now.  For most of that time, I've done the class twice a week.  Most of my Mondays and Thursdays start with pilates reformer at 5 am.  My instructor is a great gal from England.  And, she went home this year for Christmas. But, instead of canceling our classes.... she found some other instructors to take over on certain days.

Bridging

Leg circles

Yesterday morning I had a woman I've seen teaching their mat pilates classes.  In fact, I've taken one of those from her before.  And, it was fine. 

Eve's lunge

Typically, my English instructor challenges us and while their are some regular routines we do, she also changes things up so it's not always the same exercises.



But, after three years, you get to know the routines... and rarely do I feel sore from my reformer class.  On occasion, I will... but it is not often.


However, my workout yesterday with the Mat Class Instructor has left me sore to the core.  Not the kind of sore that's it hurts to walk or be active.  It's just an achy kind of sore right in my core area... where I can seriously feel the muscles have been worked.   This is exciting... it means that we did something just different enough that I worked my muscles differently.

Short spine roll-over

That makes me happy, actually... and, sure, it does make me wonder if my English instructor is keeping me on my toes enough.  But, I have felt like this before after one a class or two, but it's been a while.

 

All of the photos in this blog are images of actual exercises I do regularly.  Some I enjoy much more than others.  Some that just seem to be harder for me to do since I broke my foot (even two years later).... like "bridging" on just my left foot.  The Mat Class Instructor did most of these same ones... she just added some variations that seemed to cut right to the core.  And, I love it!


Feels great to be sore to the core!!

Out with the Old

Over the last few weeks, I have spent a lot of time in my closet.  It's not a fun thing for me.  But, it's necessary.  My personal downsizing has created a need to weed.  Out with the old!  Time to focus on where I am now and what I no longer need. 

For me, the task was daunting because I really had to try on a lot of the clothes.  My body shifts so much right now, I have no idea what fits on  regular basis.  Something can be too tight on Monday and by Friday it fits decently.  Or, pants can fit a little loose on one day and by the next week they are too big and need to be weeded.

One might think that this would be easily done on an ongoing basis... which is what I'm doing now.  But, at first, I think there was that fear that my weight could go back up.  No one who loses weight never wants to go back to being heavy.  But, those of us who have spent our lives in search for semi-decent plus size clothing know it is not easy to come by.  So, to let go of those commodities (even if I wasnt in love with any of them) which took years to accummulate is very hard to do. 

 

But, I took the stance that I would never need them again.  I just had to think that way.  Because that is how it has to be.  So, I cleaned out.  I went through everything.  I packed up bags and bags of clothes and starting keeping them together in another room.  I would add clothes to them over a few weeks of doing this and then left the bags there for a while.  I never (not one time) went back to the bags.  I never looked in them.  Never thought about what was in them and no longer in my closet.  Nothing needed to stay.  And, when I came to that feeling of acceptance, then were placed in my car and taken away.  And, I haven't thought about them since.



Determin-Ada

Last night was the finale of The Biggest Loser. 

This is a show I've never really watched before this season.  But, this season spoke to me... with my own weight loss challenge, I watched every episode.  In fact, many times I felt like I lived it with these people.  I was dropping pounds, having my own last chance workouts....  And while Ginah is no Jillian, I did have a coach with me along the way.

  

Never, over the course of the season, did my favorite contestant change.  From the beginning, I was immediately connected to Ada.  Armed with her nickname, the Terminator — for her core of steel in the gym and beyond — Ada was constantly upping the ante for the other contestants. And while her original motivation and purpose for doing this may have shifted from external factors to an internal covet, her determination always shined through.   And, she has been an inspiration to me. 

I mean, doesn't she look great?  She looks happy and healthy... and without ever knowing her... she looks like herself again. 

Ada's quest to beat the Biggest Loser's marathon record (on a recent episode) reminded me of my own competitive nature.  In many ways, I am very much like her.  Her focus was always around her own determined milestones and challenges -- which may or may not have anything to do with the other contestants.  That's how I feel about fat class.  I have my own goals beyond just losing weight.  And, the scale isn't a competition.  We're all dealing with our own challenges and inspirations.  We all want different things.  I, too, would like to run a marathon.  Most people in my fat class just want to be thin.  And, that's great too.  Or maybe they want to do something I don't.  Whatever it is... it's their thing.  And, I have mine.  Just like Ada had hers.

And I'm back!!!

I just walked in the door.  It's Tuesday, December 14 at 7:30 pm.  I've been gone all day, training then a rehearsal while trying to juggle kids.  Finally home and what do I find?  My laptop has been returned.  Completely fixed and ready for me to blog again.

The piecemeal additions I've made the last few weeks have been pathetic, I know.  It's been so difficult to get updates in.  But, I do have a notebook full of updates.  So, they will be coming.  In fact, I have documented every fat class I've not blogged about so far.  And, while this might not sound exciting to you, it does document this experience for me.  Therefore, making them all relevant. 

So, watch out.  I'm back, baby... I'm back!!

Community Shame

So. . .

One of the nonprofits I work with just published their Community Report and it comes out next week.  Last year I was on the cover in a decent photo.  This year, I am included on the inside -- a photo of several of us from the organization with the Governor. 

When I opened my copy yesterday I was so ashamed.  Embarrassed.  Humiliated.  Horrified. 

I look terrible.  Huge.  Swollen. 

I was mortified.  I just wanted to rip that page out of EVERY publication printed. I didn't want anyone to see me like that.  It's a reminder to everyone of how fat I was.  And, that really embarrasses me. 

The thing is... I don't feel like that is me.  I was watching the Biggest Loser last night.  The contestants ran a marathon.  They showed images of them before the program leaving a personal mesasge to their soon to be thin self.  They all looked so different!  And, their messages were all about being glad they found themselves again and not going back to being fat.  I was right there with them.  The image in that publication is a reminder to never go back... it's just unfortuante that the entire community gets to see it.

Laptop STILL Broken

The laptop is still out of commission.  It's getting fixed now.  So, updates are coming.  They are being written... just having a hard time posting.

A tall glass of Thanks

Last week was the big T day... yep, Turkey.  Fried, smoked, baked, however you like it.  My family likes it fried and fried 6 of them on Thanksgiving Day.

Holiday festivities and travel kept me from updating.... 

Despite all the plans and travel, I did survive it all.  It wasn't too bad, either.  I packed my own food, brought pre-made shakes, muffins, veggies, soups, etc... the only thing I did out of the box was enjoy a long awaited Westerhall and diet coke.  I haven't had Westerhall rum since July.  And, I knew it would be pouring heavily at my Uncle's house in Lafayette.  It was.  And, yes... I did partake.  Look, I've lost over 40 pounds.  A long awaited glass of Westerhall wasn't going to bring it all back.  I also knew it wasn't going to mentally throw me off my game. 

It was a celebration.  A moment of thanks, to myself... a long awaited thank you for investing in myself this year and losing the weight.  Honestly, this Thanksgiving was a real day of thanks for me.  The diet has not only brought a new appreciation for fruits and vegetables (of which I am very thankful) but a lot of perspective.  And, I enjoyed that new perspective over Westerhall -- much less than previous years.... but still delicious nonetheless.

Hurting for a Friend

Today is the funeral for a very good friend's father.  I mentioned his car accident in an earlier blog.  Steve was in the ICU for 2 weeks.  That's quite a long time in the ICU and really hard for a family.

The incident brought back so many memories of going through a similar experience 17 years ago when my sister died.  It was around the holidays, like Steve.  It all began with a car accident also.  She was only in the ICU for a few days, but I saw similarities around the internal injuries.  I remember the four times the family could visit and how the days revolved around the ICU visitation schedule.  I remember not being able to focus on anything else no matter how hard I tried.  I remember shaking nonstop for days and constantly feeling cold... all due to the feeling that this might be the end of her life and how unbelievable and scary that felt.  She was 23 and Steve was 60.  They both were fun people, knew how to enjoy themselves, knew how to have fun, loved by many.  And, both taken before we were ready to say goodbye.

Steve's son is a good friend of mine.  Sometime the word "friend" just isn't a good enough word to describe some people.  You know those friends who are more like family?   I mean, he and his wife are the two people who came with us when my husband and I ran away to get married in St. Lucia nearly 10 years ago.  And, over the years we have grown closer and closer to them and their families.  Our families regularly do things together:  New Years Eve.  Halloween.  St. Patrick's Day.  Ah, how I will miss seeing Steve at the St. Patrick's Day parade... sitting in "his" chair and enjoying the show, maybe smoking a cigar.  Harrassing us for being in his way.

Also each year, our families go cut down a Christmas Tree together.  We always go the Saturday after Thanksgiving....which would be this coming Saturday.  This is one of our favorite things to do each year.  We've done this for a decade, before we had kids and their oldest were young.  Now, their oldest is 16.

We saw him last night at the visitation, the oldest son, and I realized how mature he's become and how we've watched him grow up.  Their three boys were holding their own at the service.  The two oldest with friends and interacting with all the family friends who felt compelled to deliver their condolensces.  The youngest one, who is 9, was exploring the place - reminding me of my grandfather's funeral when I was in my teens.  I have strong memories of my cousins and me exploring the funeral home.  Tears, then laughter all throughout the day.  Unable to really understand what was going on.

Today I hurt for my friend and his family.  His wife who mourns a man that, as she recently said, was more a father than an in-law.  His kids who grieve for a generous and witty grandfather.  And, a son who aches for his father.... and might not be entirely ready to say goodbye.

Shaken Or Stirred?

Last Thursday night I played bartender at a fundraiser for United Way.  Serving my signature drink, a blue eyed blonde, I was competing for tips to benefit UW.  My drink consisted of lemonade, vodka and blueberries.  I did sample it a couple of times and it was delicious!  I was definitely out of the box on that.  But I made up for it in my physical activity -- because I made sure I burned over 6000 calories this past week. 

The experience was great.  What a fun night!!  I had so many friends come to cheer me on.  And lots of people telling me how great I look.  People who haven't seen me in months. 

I picked up a little blue dress in a 10 minute window between meetings on Thursday.  I wanted something blue to wear and couldn't find a thing.  Let's face it... my closet is an absolute mess.  A disaster, really.  I'm all over the place in sizes.  I keep weeding where I can.  But, it's torture to get dressed in the morning.

So I wanted something blue to wear to match my signature drink.  I got so lucky.  A lunch meeting got out slightly early and I had a 2 pm meeting at the Capitol to present to a Senate Committee.  I literally ran into a store with 10 minutes (at most) to spare.  I looked ONLY for the color blue.  Honestly, I would have never even tried the dress on if I was looking so specifically for the color.  It was a size smaller than I thought I could wear, and it was short.  But, I figured... what the hell.... let me try.  Amazing thing is... it fit and looked great with my jacket and the tux tie I was planning to wear. And, I finally had something to match the mood of the evening!

Now, I gotta get a new jacket.  Just bought that one, but it's getting way too big.  :)

Laptop Still Out of Commission

It's painful not being able to post updates.  I have a list of stuff I want to journal and the laptop being down is frustrating.  Trying to fill in the gaps from my husband's tiny laptop, when I remember to. 

Surviving the Chimes

With friends at the Chimes.

One thing I never thought I could do in this box ... 

go to The Chimes and NOT eat anything. 

A good friend was in town last week, and like me... she LOVES the Chimes.   Who can blame her?  Consistent and delicious seafood.  Yummy hush puppies!  Incredible cheese fries.  Amazing fried cheese.  Stuffed potatoes like no where else.  And, even their salads are scrumptious.  Their house dressing is to die for.  This is one of my favorite restaurants, and one of my "last meals" before jumping into the box.  So, when my friends said, "We're going to Chimes"  -- well, I was definitely worried.

I mean, how can I go and NOT eat anything?  But, I have to go. I want to see my friend.  She's more important than a day in the box.  But, I don't want to eat bad either.  What can I do?  Well, for starters... I went prepared.  I had a shake not long before. I ordered a salad with no dressing.   I even packed a soup and actually made it there. Yes, I ordered a hot cup of water.  It wasn't as hard as I thought.  And, the funniest thing of all.. . my friends just watched me make my soup with a longing look.  Seriously, they actually asked for a bite.  A bite?  Come on, folks!  We're at the Chimes.  I mean, you are eating cheese fries!!!  Nothing I'm making from the box is going to taste the least bit decent... not after eating THE CHIMES.  

The next morning when my husband asked where we went, I said the Chimes.  Even he could hardly believe I didn't eat a thing.  I was amazed at my ability to stay focused that night. Surviving the Chimes was a huge victory in my journey to make a long term lifestyle change!

Blue Eyed Blonde

Tonight I will be a celebrity bartender at fundraising event for the local United Way.  My specialty drink is called a "Blue Eyed Blonde" - which is basically lemonade and vodka with a couple of blueberries dropped in and a lemon zest.

The problem with this box thing I'm in... is that I am really not suppose to drink.  So, I'll be serving my "specialty drink" without knowing whether it's any good.  

Perhaps I'll just have to have a sip? :)

35 Miles and 40 Pounds

I've been trying to increase my physical activity since adding the fruits/veggies.  In the past two weeks, I burned over 10,000 calories.  I've had several days where I was able to get 35 miles in on the bike.  That burned a lot of calories!

This week's weigh in brought me over the 40 pound mark.  I've now lost 41.6 pounds. Forty is huge.  And, despite all challenges while in the box, it hasn't felt like it took me that long to get here. 

My photo was in Sunday's paper (see below).  I got so many comments on it.  And, several people called me actually used the word "skinny" to describe how I looked.  Great feeling!!

Walk At Work

With my 2 Step shirt, trying to live by the 2 steps:  eat right, move more

It was Veterans Day.  And, the weather was great.  A beautiful day for a walk! 

My department helped to host a Walk At Work event in honor of our Veterans.  My team had a booth and put on tee shirts and got right out there.

It's nice to work for a company that encourages activity.  About half the employees participated, too!

Anyway, I'm just feeling appreciative of being at a company that encourages healthy behaviors.  

Laptop - Down and Out

I typically blog from my home laptop.  My iPad wont let me add photos (unless someone can share how) and I don't have time to blog from my office PC.  So, I blog at home -- late hours, early mornings... whever I can fit it in.  That is, UNTIL....

Until I discovered last week that it is NO longer working.  The charger is messed up.  So, sorry for my absence.  I was actually trying to blog about our Veterans Day walk from my iPad...but haven't had time to finish it. 

I'll be back online soon.  I promise.

Traveling in the Box

Recently I was in Chicago, and earlier this week I was in Monroe.

It's a little difficult to be in the box with travel.  Sure, I pack up a mini-blender, and I make dozens of muffins to bring along.  But, the truth is... I'm out of my comfort zone.  I don't have my tools in front of me.  I can't just pop something in the microwave, or chop up veggies for a salad.  Plus, my exercise routine is thrown!

All these things make it very hard to stay on track, or in the box. 

Even though my Monroe trip was merely an overnight, it was still hard.  I had 3 dozen muffins at my disposal (which I ate most of).  I had a few premade shakes, which I also ate.  I even made an entree to eat on the way up.  Packed a banana for the ride, and one for breakfast.  I used the mini-blender and made more shakes in my room for the next morning and the trip back.  I got my PA (physical activity) in! We went to the mall that evening and walked for a couple of hours, and I spent an hour working out in the fitness center the next morning.


So, I was good.  I stayed in the box.  But, I almost think maybe I ate TOO much trying to stay in the box.  I would have never eaten all that if I was home.  And, I feel like my workout wasn't as strong as my usual ones.  It wasn't my fitness center, my machines or classes.  I don't know that I worked as hard. 

Now, that might sound dumb.  What's the difference between 4 miles on their machine versus the ones I regularly use?  I don't know.  But, it doesn't feel the same.  Perhaps it's a trust issue.  I do feel good that I went to the gym, and truly believe that it was more beneficial being there exercising than not going at all.  But, at the same time, I feel like it probably wasn't as effective as my normal exercise routine.  I'm not even sure why I think that.

In Chicago, I never went to the fitness facility.  Not once.  I walked the city instead.  Many times with a bag on my back that weighed forty pounds, too.  And even though I walked for hours my while there, I didn't feel like it was the equivalent to a strong Saturday at the gym.  And, maybe it wasn't. 

So, how do I give myself permission to be okay with these changes in schedule?  I usually come home and feel like I need to add 2 or 3 extra workouts in for being out of town.  It's like a guilt thing.  I seriously feel like I need to do another 20 miles on the bike tonight to make up for my overnight.  Why is that?

I know the schedule kept me from weighing in this week, so I don't know my stats.  And, I'm sure that's created a little anxiety.  I'm also VERY close to hitting the 40 pound mark.  Maybe I'm just wanting to stay focused?

Stress Density

I'm seeing absolutely no decrease in weight for the last 14 days... pretty much since I started incorporating fruits and vegetables.

I figured last week would be unlikely -- with my trip to Chicago and the 5 dozen muffins.  But, this week, I have been anticipating some decrease.  I even increased my physical activity. I burned 5000 calories last week! A record high, for sure. So, what's going on?

I think it's stress density.  My body is experiencing stressed and making itself even more dense.  Good hypothosis, right? 

I've felt especially stressed at work lately.  Having a hard time finishing everything I need to do with all the meetings and traveling I've had lately. 

But, more significantly, on Friday... my very dear friend learned his father had been in a car accident and was been rushed to the hospital.  I feel like I just blogged not so long ago about a good friend who lost his father. A dear friend whose family is like my own.  That's the way it is with this friend, too.  He and his wife were the witnesses at my wedding -- they flew to St. Lucia to be there for us nearly 10 years ago.  And, his family (mom, dad, sisters) has always been strongly integrated in our regular activities... why, I'm even friends with all of them on facebook!  These are good people.  Crazy people.  But, good people.

Anyway, reports of "Dad" (as we've all referred to him so often before) sent friends from around the map into anxious concern and the airwaves filled with regular check ins between us.  Fear. Anxiety. Stress. Sadness.  I spent the weekend glued to my phone for updates and appreciated having Sunday afternoon with the family in the ICU. 

While "Dad" recovers and his progress continues to show great signs of improvement, I know my friends have a long road ahead. 

For now, I'm packing my bags to head to Monroe for a work meeting.  Staying overnight.  Got with me: three dozen muffins, a mini blender, and a little less stress.  Let's hope I come back less dense.

Hello Harley!

I'm going to be in Monroe next week and will miss Fat Class. So, I went ahead and made it up this week (or they will hound me to do it nonstop).

I sat in a session with Harley, the other instructor. It's the class Lola attends and she was right there with me. First, let me say that Harley was actually not as bad as I was expecting. Someone mentioned they made the cheesecake. I was waiting for her to freak out. She really didn't. Course, I might have caught her on a good day? But, I thought she was going to be much more adamant about that kind of things.

What I wasn't expecting was how loud she was. That girl should be on stage! Talk about projection!! Wow. She actually hurt my ears. And, she likes to say OK and Alright A LOT. I counted in one 10 minute interval. She said OK 29 times, did 18 alrights, AND gave out 6 outstandings.

It's interesting to see the different dynamics of each class. One thing I immediately noticed was the PA (physical activity) of their class was much lower than our class by that week. In fact, my PA was low last week... only about 2800 and I was, surprisingly, the highest in the class. By week 10, we had so many people at 3000 or 4000. They still had so many under the 2000 PA requirement. We had little to none below it at that point. I'm not suggesting we were better by any means... but, I think the PA part might have taken more to the people in my class. I'm certain our group wasn't any more athletic in nature. And, I'm sure anyone would agree if they had seen both groups. It was just interesting to see that.

It was harder to sit through this class than the intro one the night before. Perhaps that is because I had JUST been in a fat class? Or, maybe it didn't feel as relevant or seemed redundant? I'm not sure. One thing I did enjoy, though... was getting to hear the story, again, of the guy who lost 200+ pounds through the program. I actually caught a couple of things I didn't remember from when he shared his story with my class. it's pretty inspiring. And, I appreciated the inspiration during this time of renewal with the program.

Round Two - Fat Class Recap 1

Well, the second round of fat class was surprisingly informative. I had been dreading sitting through the intro class again, since I'm 13 weeks in. I mean, what can they really tell me that I don't already know. A lot, apparently. It was incredibly informative to sit through the introductory material again. A great refresher. Just picked up on some things I had forgotten or perhaps missed on the first go round.

As for my fat class mates? Well, there were three repeat offenders (me, Cathy - the one with influx, and the guy who's wife is also doing the diet in another class -- think he's lost 40 pounds already). There were only 7 newbies with us. So, a total of 10 in the class Monday night. I was there with a colleage, Liza. She's new to the diet and has been watching my progress (along with others from my office). We've all done fairly well and I think she's anxious about not doing as well as the rest of us. I just try to remind her that every body responds differently, and this isn't a competition. Liza took LOTS of notes. Pages and pages, actually. That's good. I didn't and I now see there was a lot I didn't remember.

Ginah was the teacher again and I told her the next day that it was really very good for me to sit through it again, especially considering I'm seeing this all through a new lense. I wasn't doing the fruits and vegetables last time. So, I didn't really listen to everything they said about that... or it didn't register. It was relevant, or important.

Several members of the class looked like they only needed to drop a few pounds, and it made me wonder what they were doing on this program. Then there were others that definitely needed to lose more. There was a guy who stood for most of the class. I'll probably just call him the Stander. At one point he asked the Married Repeater about a shake he made using a pudding. The Stander was really intrigued by the things you could add. "So, you just put a whole box of that pudding in the shake when you do it?" he asked innocently. I thought Ginah might have a heart attack. "Not a whole box... just a tablespoon," she strongly stated.

I missed Paulie. While she and I were not really friends before the diet, we have certainly been there for each other through the last 13 weeks and she is definitely a good friend now. It was weird not having her as part of my experience.

Starting Over

I weighed my options and finally decided what I should do about moving forward with the diet. 

It was a much harder decision than I thought it would be.  Originally, I wanted to just move to the Wednesday Phase II class. It would be cheaper, less time in class, more flexible, and I'd get to stay with Paulie.  It was selfish, mostly.  But, if I'm really committed to losing weight and keeping it off... then it's not about those things. I had to figure out what was best for me.

Once I started incorporating the fruits and vegetables into the diet, I realized it was much more complicated than I expected.  And since I never listened to anything they said about fruits and veggies in my first series of fat classes, I figure I probably need to start over again.  So, I decided to retake the core class.  Yes, it will be excruciatingly painful to sit through some of those same lectures again.  But, I'll be listening with a different perspective.  It will be good for me to start over.  I think it will prolong my time in the box and reinforce good behaviors. 

I'll miss Paulie.  But, I feel good about my decision.

Trick or Trick...

So, here we are at Halloween.  A holiday loved by many for the delicious candies it brings.  Fattening little treats that are all really tricks.  Tricks on your body.  Filled with empty calories. Nothing nutritional about the toosie rolls, Reese's peanut butter cups, Almond Joys. 

Hmmm, I love Reese's and Almond Joys.  Actually, I'm not one to get crazy on candy.  It will literally sit in our pantry for months.  But, what doesn't last around my house are Reese's peanut butter cups or Almond Joys.  These are, of course, two of the bags of candy my husband bought this year.  I almost cried when he came home with them.  Tootsie rolls, blow pops, sweet tarts... none of those interest me.  Not the least bit tempted. 

So, here I am.... sitting in my den, typing this... with two delicious bags of candy bars just 10 feet away, waiting to be opened.  Waiting to be eaten.  And, I haven't touched them.......... yet.

Box-ing It in Chi-Town

I had an annual meeting to attend this week in Chicago. Ah, Chicago.  Chicago is a city I really enjoy.  It's a beautiful place with lots to do.  Whenever I have to be there I take the first flight out so I can get there as early as possible.  I love to walk the city.  In fact, I've been known to walk from downtown to Steppenwolf Theatre.  It's only a couple of miles. But, it's not a typical walk for many.

This trip is my first real trip away since getting in the box.  I've had short overnights, but never anything where I knew I wouldn't have a microwave right there ready for me to eat my entrees. 

Paulie went to Chicago a couple of weeks ago and she made 5 dozen muffins. Muffins, great idea!  So, I did the same.  I also packed my mini-blender and lots of shakes and puddings. 

I figured I'm going to do everything I can to fill my tummy with box food.  Between the blender and all the packets, you can see it didn't leave too much room for my clothes -- and I wasn't going to bring anything bigger than a carry on.  So, I was making it work. 

I put the muffins in my satchel for easy access!  And, that worked out great.  The muffins were a real saving grace.  I could just eat those whenever I started to feel hungry. 

Once I arrived and checked in, I took a really long walk.  Since my flight out was at 6 am, I missed my exercise time at the gym that morning.  I love walking downtown.  It's so energetic and the texture of the city is captivating.  An hour into my walk, I found a coffee shop across from what looks like a giant coffee bean in Millennium Park.  It's actually called the Cloud Gate.  But, it really looks more like a bean.  Anyway,  I had a presentation to finalize for the next day and was craving some coffee. 

After working on my presentation, I took another long walk and decided I should try to find a store to stock up on some fruits and drinks. I thought finding fresh fruit in the downtown area wouldn't be too hard -- perhaps challenging.  But, I remember many times seeing this in coffee shops or small groceries in the downtown area. Just needed to keep my eyes open.  It was even easier than I thought.  I was passing a Walgreens and could see fruit in the window.  This really made me think.  Is it like that in Louisiana? I know we have "lip smaking" cracklins or butter pecan pralines at the counter.  (For the record, I don't find cracklins "lip smaking" or the least bit tempting).  My point is...  I think it would be harder to stumble upon fresh fruit at home.  Or, maybe I've just not been paying as much attention.  But, I'd never think to stop at Walgreens if I needed a banana.

Nevertheless, I was able to purchase a few things for my room to help keep me in the box.  I had really thought adding fruits and vegetables would make my trip to Chicago easier.  I could stop in a restaurant and just get a salad.  But, it has probably brought me more anxiety.  Now, I have to figure out how to incorporate them into the diet plus -- because they are new to me -- I get really nervous over the idea of going to a restaurant eating them. I think a big part of that is because I've spent 13 weeks avoiding restaurants, I can't imagine really just going to one and ordering something and still being IN the box.  The mind is an amazing thing. 

Anyway, I survived the trip and the many challenges that it brought.  I'm not sure I didn't gain weight though... I did end up eating a WHOLE lot of muffins.  I'll keep you posted. 

Fat Class Recap 13

It's my last fat class with this initial group. After this class many of us will go different routes. So, this might be the last time you'll hear about the Drinker, or Jed, or any of the others I've mentioned. I'm also not likely to be with Paulie anymore in class. But, I suspect she'll still be a regular of the blog.

For the record, Paulie and I ended these 13 weeks at nearly the same amount of weight loss. This week I was down another 3+ pounds, and she lost another 2+. And, for both of us - our total weight loss is right around 35 pounds!

I brought the cheesecake I made to class. Paulie and I distributed it among the group (who were drooling) and Jed immediately tells me it is "a very respectable cheesecake!" He used that word. Respectable. Many partake of it and Ginah has me give everyone the recipe during our discuss of holiday food.

Ginah shares other holiday recipes to help us make it through. There are holiday shakes we can make for Halloween. She started class distributing samples of the snickers shake. I like to make the butterfingers shake at home.

When Ginah passes out copies of the recipes, she says "These recipes will make you think you're part of festivities."

Then the Drinker says "Why> Do they have alcohol in them?"

Jed says, "Are we through with this trick or treat business?"

I can't tell if he's ready to move on or wants to ask a question. Ginah doesn't look like she knows what he means either.

"...well, it's just that I have an idea..." Jed continues. "I think if you're really wanting some Halloween candy, you can just take out one of the bars and eat that. It is basically a candy bar, you know?"

Jed then gets a thought. "Oh, and I have an idea! Instead of candy, you can always give out a quarter to the kids. Imagine how many kids would be running over to your house if they hear you are giving out quarters!"

I immediately remember a Halloween in the early 80s. My father took us out and we stopped at one house where the guy looked really taken aback that we stopped for Halloween. Instead of just saying sorry, the guy said "WAIT.. hold on... I have something!" Seems like we waited forever. He eventually came back with pennies. Even at ilk 12, I thought that was lame. Pennies? Flash forward to 2010 and keep in mind inflation. I'm guessing the kids wouldn't be too excited by ONE quarter. At least this guy gave me like 10 pennies. Sorry Jed... probably not a great idea.

As I awake from my trance, I hear Ginah discussing how people are less and less physically active. "If there was a drive thru grocery, I think people would go!" She sounds frustrated.

A classmate tells her there is one and you can get a daiquiri while you wait. Several classmates say, "Where?" I think they even wrote it down. I turn to the Drinker and say, "Sounds like your kind of place!"

She responds, "Nah. I'm not into daiquiris. I like the hard stuff!"

Ginah shows the class a chart of empty calorie foods. Crackers was listed. I hear about 5 people say, "Crackers!" I think I was one of them.

The drinker says, "Crackers. Mmmm. I miss crackers. And cheese. And wine."


(Big Sigh). I'm really gonna miss the Drinker.

In the Box Cheesecake

I have been wanting to test out a cheesecake recipe I found online using only the diet products, so I'd still be in the box.

The recipe is to mix 3 puddings with 1 shake packet, add a little lemon juice and water and cook for 20 minutes.  It didn't call for a crust.  On Monday in Fat Class, I was talking to the youngest member of our class.  I haven't mentioned her before in the blog (probably because she's one of the most normal and likable people in the class).  But, youngster has been there since day 1.  Anyway, she said she's been really wanting to make the cheesecake and finally figured out the crust.  She suggested we try it using the honey graham bar they sell.  Genius, I thought.  And, so I made it this weekend. 


Actually, it's not terrible.  It reminds me of what I thought of the muffins the first time I ate them.  Not terrible... different.  They grew on me (and everyone else) and now we all love the muffins.  I suspect this "in the box" cheesecake will be the same. 

Plus, it never hurts to have another type of something to chose from... and having a cheesecake that isn't "terrible" (sadly) sounds like a good thing right now.

Clowns and Needles -- Not a Great Combination

As part of my doctor supervised diet program, I have blood work done every six weeks.  I received a call on Thursday that I was due for them... so Friday morning I stopped in.

Aichmophobia is the fear of needles or pointed objects.  There are a lot of people in the world with this phobia.. or who just generally don't like needles, and not excited about getting blood work done.  Fortunately, I'm not one of those people.  I'm not excited by them, but I know it's just part of life. 

I'm certain that many people who suffer from a phobia are likely to have other fears.  So, what's a great idea?  Let's ease people's anxiety with something even more scary... like clowns, right??

On my three or so visits to get my labs done, I've regularly noticed the three evil clowns staring back at me.  All framed nicely and placed on the wall directly in front of the patient are images from the Emmett Kelly collection.  Images like the one below.    

That's just wrong.

Weighing My Options

I had a long conversation yesterday with Ginah, who is trying to determine my next step in this program.  I put down that I'd like to move to Phase II once this class ends in the coming weeks.  She's concerned.  I'd be going from a very limited and restrictive diet to including 35 fruits and veggies a week, as well as incorporating other regular foods.

I agree with her.  It's actually not the route I was originally planning for me.  But, my options aren't great.

Here's what they are:

• Option A.  Repeat the "core" class
• Option B.  Move to the ongoing weight loss class
• Option C.  Move to "Phase II"

Option A.  Repeating the Core.  Well, I don't want to sit through the exact same class again.  Even though I'd be in it under a new plan (because I'm definitely adding fruits and vegetables -- even sooner than I imagined), I'd still be hearing the exact same information.  I just don't want to have to sit through that again.  Plus, my boss has plans to move forward with the diet (which I'm very excited for her, of course) and she will be in that class.  I want her to have her own experience.  She doesn't need me (who will be bored with the curriculum) influencing her experience.

Option B.  Ongoing Weight Loss.  This seems like a great plan, actually.  I do want to lose more weight, and it would slowly allow me to incorporate the fruits and vegetables in a structured environment.  So, why did I write Phase II?  They only offer this class at one time.  Tuesday nights from 6:30 - 8.  One issue -- I have so many night functions for work.  Some occur on Tuesday evenings.  The more important issue -- my family.  I have a 5 and 7 year old.  I want time with them.  And, my 7 year old just skipped a grade.  So, she's got a lot of additional homework and responsibilities this year.  I hate putting a regular meeting on my calendar at that time.  The truth of the matter is, I'm fortunate.  I have a wonderful husband who is great with the girls.  He's the homework dad, the cook, etc.  And, honestly, it would probably be harder on the girls if "daddy" was away one night a week.  But, if I schedule myself for that class I wouldn't even seem them on Tuesday nights.  :(

Option C.  Phase II.  Phase II is what they call the maintenance phase.  Participants are no longer required to purchase a certain minimum food amount.  So, it's cheaper - which I like.  The classes are also only an hour - which I also like.  And, they have more classes to choose from -- with better hours.  There is even one during the day that I could hit on my lunch break. Both Paulie and Lola are moving to this once they can. But, here's the problem.  I'm suppose to incorporate certain items into my diet each week.  And, if I don't -- then I'm not "eligible" for Phase II -- whatever that means.  That also means that the amount of weight I lose will decrease significantly.  I'm not looking to maintain my current weight.  I want to lose more.  I may not have a goal weight in mind, but I know in order to achieve what I want, I need to lose more weight. 

When I first started the program, I had hoped to stay on the All Inclusive plan until the end of the year or until the holidays (either Thanksgiving/Christmas).  But, I only eat about 4 of the entrees.  So, the diet is getting harder and harder. 

Ginah suggested I take the weekend to weigh my options and let her know.  She said she'd support me regardless, but I know she was pushing for the ongoing weight loss class.  In the interim she has me incorporating three fruits/veggies into my diet -- starting today, which is actually more scary than exciting right now.

So, chime in folks.  What option do you think I should take?