The {Equation}

I mentioned the dreaded conversation in my last post.

One thing that usually comes up in that conversation is them wanting to know the exact amount of weight I've lost. This isn't my favorite topic.  I get embarrassed by it.  And, those that aren't as close to me I don't feel deserve to know.  Because... I know how people are.  They start thinking.  They take the weight you've lost and start imagining how much weight you once weighed.  And, none of that is even relevant!  But, I've seen it happen.  There's a woman at the office that lost 100 pounds last year.  I've heard several people talk about that and how much she must have weighed before.... like that number is important for some reason.  Like it's a deep, dark secret of some significance... and all we knew about her was not real....as if it's the equivalent of something serious like hearing that her father wasn't really her father.

I know it's curiousity.  And, it's probably a little fear too.  And, then maybe it's a little egocentric...wanting to be more fit or look better than others.  I don't know.

If you're someone I don't feel close to or think might judge me you get the equation.  If you are someone I think loves me for me... were my friend before (when I was really fat) and will be friend no matter what I look like then you get the real number.

So, here's the equation: 

For people I don't trust/love/etc I tell them that I've lost 40 pounds.  For every ten pounds I lose after that I say 1 more pound.  Here's a real life example.  I saw someone the other day who asked.  This tiny thin girl at the office that has always been condensending.  In reality, I've lost about 60 pounds now.  So, I told her I lost about 42.  I just think that once you get 50 pounds or over people really start thinking and talking about it.  Maybe a little too much for my own comfort.

And then... when I've finished losing all I can lose... I can just say, "Wow, those last 5 pounds sure made such a difference!!"