Symptoms for Change

I'm 38 years old.  Female.  Living a pretty active life.  Lots of friends.  Very social. 

This summer I spent a lot of time traveling in a cargo van, putting on events in the coastal parishes impacted by the BP oil spill.  Planning and implementing the events was exhausting, both physically and mentally.  And, midway through... I began to feel anxious all the time.  Stressed.  Part of these events included medical screenings, and so I started having my blood pressure checked regularly.  While I wasn't altogether surprised to see it was elevated, I was surprised at how high it had become.  At one of the events, it stayed steady between 155/95 to 166/98.

As a mother of two young daughters (5 and 7 yrs), I became increasingly concerned about what this means -- which probably caused even more stress.  So, I scheduled an appointment with the doctor.  A new doctor.  I'm a big supporter of doctors.  I think they are great.  And, I think the better relationship you have with your primary care physician, the healthier you will be... unless you are me.  I haven't had a good relationship, or a relationship of any kind actually, with my primary care physician in years.  Why?  Well, because I'm overweight.  And, not just a little overweight.  A lot.  Always have been.  And, the older I get the higher the number is on the scale.  So, I avoid doctors.  Because, I know they are going to tell me I'm overweight...  and that, my friend, is the root of all evil. 

It doesn't matter that I'm one of those early morning regulars at the gym for the last 15 years.  Most mornings at 5 am, I am waiting in line (with a dozen others) for the gym doors to open so I can get in a quick work out before the world wakes up.  I swim, run, walk, bike, do palates reformer, take a step class... whatever floats my boat that day.  But, my persistent exercise routine has never helped me lose weight.  It's merely helped me maintain. 

Despite my hypocritical attitude toward doctors, I schedule an appointment with a new physician.....  time for a change, I think.  And, what do I get?  A young, stick thin female physician with no sympathy for me who indicates my elevated blood pressure is merely a result of my additional mass.  She recommends "lifestyle changes" in a way that makes me feel completely judged and orders blood work -- to rule out any real concerns and verify that the problem is truly me.  Me and my choices.  Bad choices.  Dr. Stickthin also mentions a diet program run by a nearby hospital.  "It is very strenuous and most people can not handle it," she says condescendingly.  "It's only for those with a true commitment."  And, with that I know... it's on.  Bring it, Stickthin!

And, she requests to see me again in 3 months.  Let's do it!