Fat Class Recaps

I've been wanting to give some regular recaps of Fat Class.  I've made some mention, like our skinny minnie instructor and Waverly.  But, there has been so much more to tell.  Sometimes my fat class mates say the most bizarre things.  So, why don't I do a quick recap?

Fat Class Recap 1

Members of the class greet the instructor with questions about why she's teaching.  She's thin. She has nothing to worry about!!  Instructor, who I'll call Ginah (the H on the end is important), handles their interrogation well.  She explains that her family has weight problems and this work is a passion of hers.  We meet Waverly.  Waverly talks a lot and we quickly learn more about her than we want to know.  We also meet Jed.  Jed is a 50 something business man who is too overweight.  Course, weight on men always reads better than on women.  So, maybe he's heavier than I imagine.  Jed makes some pretty dramatic statements.  At one point he makes a proclamation that if we all vow, right here, right now (with his index finger pointing up to the sky) to stay in the box then we will make it through!!!  He goes on saying that he pities those eating the fruits and vegetables.  I look at Paulie (who is on the spa treatment program) and say, "Jed pities you."  She laughs.  We then know that Fat Class is going to be an interesting experience.

Fat Class Recap 2

We meet Cathy.  She might have been there week 1 but was outshined by Waverly and Jed.  Cathy fuses at Ginah about HAVING to buy the minimum prescription of food saying it's basically a way for them to make a bunch of money.

Jed tells us about a conference he went to last week.  There was no microwave in his hotel room and he has to eat all the entrees cold, and survived.  He also ate 11 bars during the week.  He found them helpful during the conference breaks and he reported in surprised tone no one ever walked up to him and said, "Hey, what are you eating!?!?!?!" 

We start writing our totals on the board (not total weight loss yet).  I see I ate 37 things that week.  Then quickly notice that my buddy Paulie, who is doing the fruits & veggies, had 74 things (and lost much more weight than I did).  Jed may pity her, but I don't.  I become very envious of the spa treatment diet. 

Fat Class Recap 3

I'm the first to arrive, and Cathy enters after me.  She tells me that she was had to go to South Carolina last week and so she spent two days driving 12 hours -- meaning she didn't get her PA (physical activity) in on those days.  She said, "You know what I did?" and looks a little devious.  "I looked up how many calories you burn driving and put that down."  She went on to tell me her source said you burn 200 calories driving.  Now, I went home later and googled this... and never did I see estimates that high.  So, anyway... she put down her driving as physical activity.  Ridiculous.  By the way, it was the most PA she had had in her two weeks on the program.  Once class started, Ginah asked us about our homework assignment -- which was to add 50 additional calories burned to one of our PA days.  Ginah asked the class what they learned from this assignment.  No one speaks.  She asks again.  Cathy says, "Well, I didn't die!"  I think... this is the woman who put down driving as her physical activity!!! 

Class just gets better and better.  I start making notes of quotes.  Here are a few other memorable moments:

• When talking about the shakes, one lady says "Even the smell is sort of getting to me!"  and another woman says "If I drink the third shake, I get reflux!" (Good to know).
• Jed goes on about how he didn't "fall off the wagon" this week, despite three major whammies.  He didn't want an "accolades" (he must have said this four times) but he was proud of himself.  Here are his whammies:  
1. Dinner at a restaurant where he ate his HMR entree cold with a big diet coke.  
2. His birthday where he didn't have a cake for the first time in his life (I'm thinking try being born on Christmas, where cakes are rare, buddy!)  
3. His daughter came in from Africa and they had a big party with 5 Papa John pizzas.  (He explained they couldn't decide what kind to get so they just got five).  He then started to weep. Yes, seriously.  He cried. 
• Waverly goes on a tangent about pools and how absolutely nasty they are.  She goes off on how they are all filled with stat.  Stat, she said.  I'm sure she meant staph.  But, she really was adamant about pools and her never going in one (unless it was her own pool). 

Paulie then looks at me and points out that the lady seated next to Waverly is shoeless.  So, as Waverly is raving in disgust about "stat" in the pool, her neighbor is sitting there shoeless.  I made sure to get a photo!

Later, when discussing things you can do to enhance the shake experience, I unintentionally mention the fact I had made cookies out of the shakes and cereal.  The class turns and looks at me like a pack of blood-starved vampires at a blood drive.  Needless to say, I was scared. I pull out the zip lock bag of the cookies I had and ask if anyone would like to try one.  Within 10 seconds the cookies are completely gone and one classmate says, "Would you like your zip lock back?"  And, I hear a collective moan.  Classmates rave about the delicious cookies.  But, I know the truth.  Their sense of taste is distorted after two weeks in the box.

Paulie tells them I've also made muffins out of the soup.  The Shoeless Wonder says, "Wow!  You're Rachael Ray!!"

When I leave, people stop and thank me for bringing cookies and ask what I might bring next week.